Uncovered @ Clarityofnight
July 28, 2010Posted by on
I really like it at Jason’s, especially when he is organizing a flash fiction contest.
This is the third time I am participating and hope I break the jinx this time round. A coveted place in the 40s club.
The pic above was to be used as inspiration (in honour of Stephen Parrish, a friend of Jason’s who recently got published).
The first draft i wrote wasn’t up to the mark and I had to make some serious changes, obviously after some stern remarks and honest opinions. Here it goes:
It felt as if I had crossed the Milky Way and back in a split second. The impact caught me while I was deciphering the combination of the vault. Eight times the factorial of seventeen… and WHAMM!
Just before I landed upon my fractured skull, I grabbed one of the exhibits and hurled it onto his face. Jim lost his balance and the sixteenth century vase from the Ming dynasty made enough sound to set the alarm off. I revived and punted him before he fell flat, breaking his nose in the process.
I trusted Jim, mostly because he wasn’t clever. While there was always a risk, Jim listened on all occasions. He was particularly useful in doing stuff that required more muscle than anything else. Maybe he gave in to the enormity of the situation. Never before we had attempted this big a heist. I had to make a decision. I had three minutes with me. We had practiced this to the second. For four months. Had this little hiccup not occurred, I would have already broken the code and started to prepare for the exit, with the swag.
Compounded with the pain in my head, the rotating red flash light almost blinded me. While Jim was still recovering, I pulled him across the linoleum flooring and tied him to a railing. As planned, I made the run not before spitting on Jim’s face.
‘The Star of Bombay’ deserves a better plan.
I so hope I make the cut this time around.